There are as many different kinds of sex parties as there are people who throw them, and most of them are much more 'normal' in feel than the uninitiated might imagine.
Whether the kind of sex parties you're after is a swinger's orgy, a night of BDSM experimentation or simply a threesome or group of kinky, poly friends getting naked together, there will be a way for you to arrange it - and we have plenty of tips and advice! If you don't yet know the right people, have a look through our events section to see if there's any 'open-invites' taking place near you soon.
Keep in mind that it’s an ordinary party - there just happens to be a lot more pick-up lines tossed around, ogling eye balls and of course, fucking. So keep an open mind (no judging!) and know your boundaries before you get there. In general, it’s never a bad idea to bring a friend with you.
Dress to impress! Personal hygiene should be in top form; nobody wants to be in an orgy where someone’s sticky feet or foul coffee breath is spoiling the fun! Quite often there will be a theme.
Have fun, dress up in a costume or appropriate fetish wear to go with it! Which brings us to the next few significant points. All swinger parties have rules - so look up the etiquette before you go. Be prepared - have a little bag of tricks with you of sexy items you might need on your escapades in group sex or otherwise. Hosts will usually have condoms and lube but not always so be responsible for your stuff!
Consent and communication are the two Cs that every kinkster knows well, and at sex parties, it’s no different. All action (sexual or otherwise) must be consensual and agreed upon beforehand. If you have an STI or are ill, tell people with whom you intend to play. No one wants to hear after a delicious threesome ‘Oh, by the way, I’ve got herpes.’ Not cool.
Personal privacy is another priority here. You might run into the bank teller at an orgy, and maybe you know their ‘real world name’; if they give you a nickname at the party, use it! Respect that people don’t want their private life mixing with their professional one.
Also, leave your camera, phone or whatever photo capturing device you have at home. Sex parties are private; no one wants their sexcapades or intimate moments all over the internet. There will, of course, be exhibitionism and voyeurism to some extent, but it’s an entirely different thing to take pics without consent.
Finally, respect and relax. You’re there to have fun, have sex and meet new people - enjoy it!
Is everyone having wild sex everywhere at a sex party?
Not usually, sex parties aren’t some free-for-all orgy with no limits. There are rules and etiquette to follow; you must gain consent and trust before any action happens. Many newbies stand out front for a while before nervously entering the club or house, only to sit and have a drink then leave - which is totally fine.
The point is to meet new people and have fun. If you get all tangled up in a threesome or some other fantasy then awesome, but you don’t need to feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to!
How do I find sex parties in my local area?
Take a look at the event and place listings here, as there are lots of swingers clubs, sex parties, orgies and other sex positive events listed. Also you can use a search engine to look up relevant parties and venues. It’s also good to talk to other kinksters, often word of mouth is the best way to find good events.
How should I behave at a sex party?
Respectfully. Remember consent is needed for everything, even if you are only watching. Not everyone will be open to having sex with you, so if you get a ‘no’ to your advances, accept it and move on. Never try to pressure or coerce a person into doing anything they don’t want to do. Always play safe, use condoms and clean up after yourself. Safety is sexy after all. If in doubt talk to someone who is running the event to go over any rules with you. Ask all the questions you like, there’s no such thing as a stupid question. It also shows that you are responsible and caring. It’s always good to be prepared.
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