Not sure what to get that special sub-one this year? Instead of spending money on things give the gift that keeps on giving: a mindfuck. The crack of a whip, sensation play, there are so many ways. Just remember your safewords kinksters and have a safe, sane and consensual mindfucking awesome end of the year.
Why a Mindfuck is the Gift That Keeps On Giving
“Get on your knees, girl.”
I knelt on the floor, the cold, hard floor digging into my knees. My body was soft and pliant, waiting for his bare hand to connect with my bottom. This position was familiar – me, a willing submissive waiting for her Daddy Dom to strike sensitive flesh and redden pale skin.
An unexpected but familiar jangle caught my attention. My body stiffened. He was reaching for the belt.
SNAP! He snapped the belt next to my ear, forcing me to hear the crack and snap that I would soon hear.
CRACK! SNAP! He walked around me, bending down to crack the belt, so close I felt the air move with the leather.
I trembled and whimpered. My skin was hot. I was fearful and excited about what was coming.
“Get up, girl. Let’s go to bed.”
And that is how my partner fucked with my head and turned me into a squirming, whimpering, submissive mess – without even touching me. Even now, when he wants to get my attention, he picks up the belt and gives it that tell-tale snap and sends shivers up my spine.
What is a Mindfuck?
A mindfuck is a tool used in power exchange dynamics – Dominant and submissive, top and bottom. The Dominant, through looks, words, or a few actions, convinces a submissive that an action is taking place or will in the near future. It is often something that the bottom or sub is nervous about or fears in some way – even if they’re excited by it.
The submissive’s belief is reinforced by their imagination while their partner may use a few carefully chosen words to keep their thoughts swirling. With enough time, a submissive may concoct a scenario in their mind that is not borne out by the facts of the situation they find themselves in. This is done, in part, by their desires and their fears, as well as what little information the Dominant shares.
How and Why They Work
Mindfucks are powerful because they work both from a place of fear and a place of trust. The submissive or bottom trusts their Dominant to do what they say they will. At the same time, the Dominant is allowing them to believe something they fear (even if they really want it) is going to happen.
One scenario I’ve heard a few times involves knife play. The submissive wanted the fear and uncertainty of knife play but was terrified of knives and sharp edges. Her Dominant, in a scene, blindfolded her after allowing her to get a good, long look at a table he had set up filled with all kinds of kinky toys, including a razor sharp, mean looking knife. Once sure she couldn’t see anything, he pulled out ice.
He talked to her throughout, telling her how he was going cut her skin, mark her permanently. He used the ice to make her believe the knife was cutting her skin. The droplets of water dripping down her skin reinforced the idea. She was a shaking mess, but when he checked her body, she was also equally turned on. It wasn’t until later that she found out no knife had been used.
A kinkster who uses mindfucks in their play must do so responsibly. Know your partner and their fears but also respect their hard limits. If a safeword is used, it must be honored. Yes, a Dominant knows nothing is actually happening but the mind is powerful, and the fear of a thing makes it real.
Give Your Partner a Mindfuck for the Holidays
Even a long-term D/s relationship, like the one I’m in, is subject to “surprise” mindfucks. Because I trust him implicitly, I always believe he’s going to do what he appears to intend. When you have that kind of closeness and trust, a mindfuck can be a fun gift to give.
- The Dominant gives themselves the feeling of power, control, sadism, and their partner’s reaction.
- A submissive gets a surprise that may turn them on, could help them explore a limit in a safer way, and a new way to play that involves nothing more than a few words or a look.
Anything can be a mindfuck.
Recently, my partner grabbed my leg in a way that made me think he was going to tickle me. I hate it and consider it a hard limit (I come out punching and kicking when I get tickled – getting a pedicure is hard for everyone involved). I shrieked, struggled, and tried to pull away. He held firm, and I couldn’t get away. My struggles increased even though he never made a move to tickle me. He didn’t have to. My mind took me there, and he let it. With a single word, he could have stopped my freak-out but watching me give into a “fear” was more fun for my sadistic Dom.
And mindfucks really are that easy to do. Some take planning – like convincing a submissive they’re being kidnapped or in a (consensual) non-consent scene. Others happen in a moment when a submissive convinces themselves that something they’re afraid of is going on and reacts. An imaginative Dominant can capitalize on that fear with a look, a gesture, or a word. The submissive is doing most of the work in making the mindfuck work.
Mindfucks are gifts that keep on giving, long after the moment is over. I still get a shiver when I think about how real a mindfuck felt. My Dom gets an evil grin on his face that lets me know I should never get entirely comfortable because he might fuck with my head at any point. And that is (part of) the beauty of the mindfuck.