Its not an easy thing to choose to submit after dominating. mainly because your mindset is already wired as a Domme. I know, I have been there. take that as a challenge. because it is one. it is possible though.

I have no experience with women to be honest, yet I'm sure what you see as issue is something that many Doms might think between themselves. often people in a way "pretend" to be something for their partners sake. and sometimes people just don't know how to take the thing they have in their mind Read more… and turn it to reality.
I would suggest you few things. first.. if you imagine the session you wish to do.. imagine it as vivid as you can first. imagine all the small details of what you wish to do to her. its known now that imagination is like a muscle. you need to know what you will do in specific and in small details. and then, when you wish to act, made her prepare the "set" if you need something. just say "I want you to......" activating her will start the excitement for both of you. and when you start the session imagine yourself, if you need the help to start, that you are an actress on a set, and you are acting your part. you know the saying "fake it you make it? " it work like magic.
if she want you to be tough to make her come, you can always pull her hair, stuck fingers into her mouth in less delicate way.. or hold her neck (even though, with that I would be careful), you can pinch or pull her nipples.. and such things. yet, and that is answer to your question, if its not how you want it for yourself, you need to explain to her what turn you on in order for you to cum. part of being able to arrive to an orgasm, is the mental thing. you need to figure out what is your thing. not what she "wants" for you, in order to cum. even if its not fitting the image she hold in her mind, about how you arrive to an orgasm, if you are the Dominant, you should in that thing, do as you want.
it might be, that you have the wish to orgasm at the same time. if both of you need different things, mentally to arrive your climax, maybe better to arrive to that, one after the other.
you can talk to me if you wish for more advices.

I believe that all changes are always for good. I bet the fact you are not going to such events, have some positive angle for the time being, even if you miss that. that is the nature of changes... and sometimes only with perspective of time we can see the value of things. and I mean value the time Read more… you have now, maybe to other things you didn't have before. maybe some self observation..? sometimes when our lives are too full, we forget we need to pause and reflect.

that what I thought. well.. for you to know, that won't make others like you more. that will just cause some unworthy people to abuse you. maybe you should invest some time in learning to love and cherish yourself first. when you will value yourself more, you will pull proper people that fit your Read more… energy. its quite simple. the self work isn't easy, yet if you don't love yourself, no one will.

Its a good one. I smiled.

well.. it sound like you are doing your best to fit yourself to her likings. what about yours? you said that your partner is into BDSM longer then you. I think that your partner need to be your teacher. I wouldn't do that if I was you. I would find myself a tutor and do the process of learning Read more… elsewhere. its not easy when your partner is more advanced and have expectations, and more then that when she is not supportive while you do an effort for her.
I would suggest you to first figure out what you want for yourself. it might be that you cannot understand BDSM because you are not in the right mind set. or its not that working for you.
partners should be able to communicate in a positive way. maybe you should send your partner to google a bit about "Compassionate communication".
I don't know if your BDSM learning ability is your issue. its seems that before anything your communication need to work better. and yes.. your communication with yourself first.

There are all kind of people. I guess some do without enjoyment, from all kind of reasons. might be they are forced to it, or seeking to please. among those that like it, they might be as such that just enjoy the activity, or as such that might like it from other reason.. some might like it with Read more… anyone and others maybe with specific people.
I like it only with my partner. I don't think that I will ever look at a cock and decide.. wow.. that is nice one, I want to.... no. it doesn't work for me that way. I need strong mental bond in order to want and do and in that case, my mind will wake my excitement. probably, do that with random people will cause me some gross.
So I can do that for hours and in different levels of intensity, from very pleasant to deep thought that might challenge me, yet only with a person that is close to me. one that I developed intimacy with, probably one that I love and willing to do a lot with.

I will listen and reflect on the word, and only after I will think of them, and respond calmly.

before anything, I send you a hug. I was reading your words and that was my inner feeling.
if you are traumatized, I think you need to give yourself the right space and time for figure out yourself. I would consider treatment. I was wondering what is the basic need that you have that cause you do Read more… things the way you do. is it the need to be loved? is it something else?
I learned that I was a giver and pleaser not only in the lifestyle just because I was afraid that no one will love me if I will stand for my own needs. just when I started to put limits to people, I learned that I don't really care now if people love me or not. I hope they will, yet if they don't.. so be it.
don't do things that you fear of. dot. you need to be able to talk about such things with the person that dominate you. communication is a basic thing. if you fear something, you can "work" around it.. together. if its in your hard limits because you were injured, just don't. someone that care about you, would not damage you.
it is challenging thing to over come fear. sometimes it takes baby steps. if you cannot communicate it with your partner, love yourself and go for a treatment.

if you are not sure, you should listen to yourself. I would write down the pros and cons on paper to see them. moving to a different country is a big step, and as slave, for sure. did you had a conversation about your doubts and worries with the person that suppose to be your Dom? communication is Read more… the most important thing you both must have. if you didn't, make sure to have that conversation even if it might be difficult. even as a slave you have the responsibility to check before you give positive answer. you have one life. be safe and ask as many questions that you want before you do big steps. you are allowed to ask them and you should expect answers till you feel pleased and secure. if not, don't do it. it doesn't matter what you are.. sub or slave.. don't let your eagerness to lead you. listen to your inner voice and be 100% positive when you do that step, that it is what you want for yourself and with that person.

I have many things I would like to try, yet I don't have a check list, because I believe that life have their own flow. sometimes I plan something, and something else happen. so.. I will see... I'm sure though, that anything that will happen, will happen for good.