Further update:
The “D/s lifestyle” thing has all but disappeared from our relationship now, but there’s still very much a D/s vibe when we’re in playing mode. It’s absolutely the case that I do as I’m told, within our agreed limits.
My “Boss” has become a very good friend to me, with exceptional Read more… benefits! It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement that is continuing to work well for both of us.
The play we engage in has become ever more extreme, and consequently more exciting. Not that I’m lacking anything, but I want to share these experiences with others, so I’ve had permission to play away too, with conditions. It’s all good. Very good .
Further updates to follow in due course…

I’ve been meeting up with people through various media over the last 30 plus years. I’d agree that there are a much lower proportion of meetable women on sites like this now. I used to have a big choice of females to pursue a meet with, but now there really are very few.
One problem is the sense of Read more… entitlement that persists. This never used to exist, or at least it was rare. Many players now have such an entitled attitude and get nasty when consent is not forthcoming.
And then you get those that have “post meet regret”. And they then ghost you. Or turn nasty. Either way, it’s not nice.
I have to say that although I’ve had some of the best conversations with folk on here, my best and most memorable physical encounters and experiences have not been with those I’ve met through this site. Paradoxically and unexpectedly, it’s been people I’ve met through a couple of well known hookup apps that have made for the best kinky encounters. Possibly because I’ve found ways to post very detailed profiles of myself, which effectively vets potential playmates very well: most are frightened off!
This means that those that I do meet with are usually already very well informed of where I’m at and they know their own needs well enough to know that they’ll be getting pretty much what they want. This works well for me, but then I do have very extreme kinks by many people’s standards.
Many folk on this site are here to “heal” or “recover” from something. Many have “issues” or “triggers” that need “therapy” involving BDSM practices, apparently. And all that is fine.
But it’s not for me. I don’t want to be a shrink, a therapist, a mentor, a Daddy, a Dom or any other label apart from “playmate”. Fun is what I do this for. That’s all. And my experience has been that there are a lot more people, including those of the female of our species, who share my view, on other vehicles than this one.
So everyone has a choice. If this site works well for you, happy days. If not, consider moving on!

Yep. Just you. Enjoy!

Well I’ve been playing for well over 30 years. I’ve tried just about every different lube out there. I love J-lube, but it’s messy and a bit of a faff to prepare. I’d definitely use that for a really good fisting session. It’s best mixed up with a blender, with a good dollop of aqueous cream with Read more… it, which helps to stop it drying out so quickly, and it also reduces the crazy stringiness of it.
These sachets of “silky” lube really aren’t that good and they can leave you feeling sore and irritated. I just don’t use them anymore.
Proprietary lubes such as Durex lube is ok, but it can be a bit sticky. KY Jelly has been around since Adam was a lad, and yeah, it’s ok, but really? Meh…
My everyday go-to lube for anal play is Tresemmé hair conditioner. Yes, really! It’s cheap, readily available, smells pleasant, it’s easy to clean up and it’s non allergenic. It stays where you put it (as in “between the cheeks, not on the sheets”) and as it’s water based, it’s kind to toys, including silicone ones. As I don’t own a vagina, I couldn’t comment on it’s suitability for such an orifice, but it’s certainly very good for bottoms!
Body shop body butter is lovely stuff for intimate times. It massively reduces friction and improves sensitivity. It seems to be kind to both anal and vaginal orifices.
Baby oil is just amazing, but it’s not easy to clean up and will probably end up leaving you with thrush. Not nice. Best not used internally.

It was early May last year that I posted the OP on this thread. Here we are now some 15 months later, and all is well, absolutely incredible, in fact!
My Boss has his health issues that cause him discomfort and sometimes he just can’t play. I make allowance for that. But when we do play, pretty Read more… regularly, it’s amazing! To have built trust with a playmate over a long period can lead to activities that bring levels of satisfaction and sheer unbridled joy that simply aren’t possible with brief fleeting encounters.
To all the naysayers: you were all so wrong on this one, but thanks for your well-intentioned advices.
To those who were supportive and excited for me: Thank you!
This is an adventure that gets more exciting with every meet and the level of extreme play we have reached is beyond anything that I ever could have dreamed of, or even fantasised about. When you find a playmate that is so in tune with you, who gets just as much out of a session as you do, with you both fulfilling each other’s needs and wants so fully, it really doesn’t get any better than that.
All of this experience goes to prove that you sometimes have to take a punt. You have to seek out that person that you don’t yet know, the one that is going to be that incredible playmate that you click with so comprehensively. It’s worth the effort when it happens.
And for the record, I’ve never been physically hurt, threatened or otherwise ***d outside of the mutually agreed boundaries we’ve set. My Boss is first and foremost my trusted and deeply respected friend. We don’t have official exclusivity over each other, but why would I want to play anywhere else when it’s so good here? It’d have to be a pretty special offer…
When you find a playmate like this, it’s absolutely magic!

I have recently posted about being punch fisted by my machine. I wouldn’t say it’s addictive, but it is pleasurable beyond description! I can see how it would possibly become addicted to some people with a certain type of personality.

Thanks @PebblePebble. Not being the owner of a vagina, I’m evidently not as in tune with the needs of such an orifice, compared to a rectum!
However, I do consider that my comment about not stretching is the most important thing. I had a long discussion with a surgeon about this and they confirmed Read more… that it’s stretching that really does the damage. This is one reason why they prefer to cut a woman’s birth canal during childbirth rather than have her tear.
When you say that you don’t think that a vagina can be “trained“, is it any different with a rectum? Can that be “trained“? And what is “training“ in that context, anyway? I certainly know that I “trained“ my former partner’s vagina, in that we achieved ever larger and larger penetrations, over a period of time. But she was definitely not “stretched”. She learned to relax, more and more.
As a free diver, I know that to get ever deeper on one breath of air, you use “incremental progression“, where you are doing the same as you did last time, and then just a little bit more. It’s all to do with managing the mental aspect of things, much more than the physical. This is exactly how I got to the stage where I am at now. But I also know for sure that I am not stretched. I am not loose and my rectum certainly doesn’t need a nappy. I’m glad to hear that your vagina doesn’t need one either! Happy days! 🤪