BDSM Dating | How to Avoid Online Scammers

I've currently got one on the go by email. It's hilarious. First she asked me to some training equipment for me off a well known kinky site and she knew a lady who worked there and gave me her email address to get a discount. I replied saying the lady didn't reply (I never wrote) and that I bought them anyway direct from the site. (I didn't).

Then "mistress" praised me and said she's coming up at the weekend. On Saturday I had an email from her saying she can't come because she won't get paid til Tuesday and asked for £100 to see her through for food and "gas" for the car to get up here (I live in the UK, we call it petrol). I replied, devastated, saying I had no money left because I've had big household bills and gone into debt for the "training equipment". 🤣

Since then I've asked if she's still coming Tuesday. She said yes. It's Tuesday tomorrow, if you're reading this later. 

I'm so excited for her arrival and my training with the equipment I haven't bought 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Seriously guys, never do hangouts, , email, or give them your real number or real address or real photo in the first few exchanges. Real Mistresses do not ever ask for money (unless they're a pro Domme with a website, they always want a deposit first). 

Never believe you've hit the jackpot if all they talk about is kink, owning you, etc, etc.  You should know what an authentic conversation looks like. 

You mean people don’t want to hook up over Apple iTunes giftcards? Lol.

Even Google admits hangouts isn't safe

As soon as anyone of these so called mistresses mentions Hangouts.RUN! RUN RUN.AWAY

I was very lucky to have my first,, and only, Mistress warn me against paying "tribute" after she released me. If Domes ask for or gift cards they are more than likely crooks, or men 😃 As much as I miss being under the control of a Mistress , I'd feel worse if I allowed myself to be conned. There are some honest Mistresses out there, but they are vastly out numbered by crooks, in my, humble, opinion 😉

Hi folks, I have just been reading your tales of woe. I've only been one this site a week. The 3 sites I was on prior to here were saturated with scammers. The golden rule I live with is I NEVER give money, gift cards, steam cards or high end valued goods over the internet even if I know and 'love' that person. It's the only way not to be scammed. However in my early days of on line dating I got suckered into believing a few of these fake/false profiles. The months of investment I put into them at the determent of possibly chatting to a real profile and I felt extremely hurt, foolish and exposed. I few tips I'd share and learnt the hard way is never trust anyone on hangouts as the accounts are so easy to make that it is easy for fake profiles. Another way to spot someone fake is in the African continent the £/$ sign is at the end of the monetary value ie 100$ instead of $100. Be very wary of business accounts as scammers can get hold of UK accounts so their numbers are +44 and not +233 which is Ghana for instance. I personally have found anyone who says they are looking for a 'God fearing' person Ive found a real tell tell sign. Please don't feel I'm knocking religion in anyway just that phase. Unfortunately desperate people will do desperate things. A very good friend works in an acute brain injury ward. One of her patient's gave away £150,000 in 18 months and they were powerless to stop him. So as long as scammers can get money they will carry on scamming. For the scammer it's a numbers game so they will give you very short replys every 8-10 minutes as they have another 30-40 other people to reply too. If you get to call them on video call and catch them unaware you'll often glimpse the person and see they are not who they are. If the camera switch off just block and walk. I hope my advise helps someone somewhere, if you have been a victim either financial or emotionally, your not alone and forgive yourself. I meet some truly wonderful people through on line dating who to this day I'm proud to have as my friends so PLEASE PLEASE don't give up folks Love & Light MartynMentor x

People dont understand... its about the sub getting a feeling of comfort from giving responsibility to someone else... its not about bullying, its about being dominant, theres a big difference.

When I first started my journey 7 years ago a similar experienced happened, fortunately I had my whits about me so the “Tribute” was a £10 gift card.
I was lucky..many are not.

I too was scammed, but was more annoyed with myself being fooled - rather than of them.

I hate scammers there all the same no matter what form of con they try

I was just scammed by someone posing as a Mistress. I’m really new to this and I wish I had some stuff first. I feel kinda dumb because they sounded so good. They always say if it sounds too good to be true it probably isn’t. I even sent a couple gift cards like an idiot! This person used hangouts. 

Thank you very helpful with regards from a lonely master

Yes, things seemed much safer when it was just dial up chat lines, not that I used them, hang on a minute, that's where brother met his now wife, perhaps things weren't so safe after all.....

Unfortunately it's not a case of sites doing more, as soon as one holes closed the scammers find another way, always one step ahead,

3 hours ago, Gidorra said:

Sounds great, but I have little confidence that moderators actually do something about fake profiles. So I have stopped reporting them. There is also no feedback, so if a profile gets reported does that mean they took note but don't care, don't agree or are simply busy and will look in to it 3 weeks later, when it is too late anyway? We will never know.

I agree, what is actually done over scammers, they are just blocked?

Sounds great, but I have little confidence that moderators actually do something about fake profiles. So I have stopped reporting them. There is also no feedback, so if a profile gets reported does that mean they took note but don't care, don't agree or are simply busy and will look in to it 3 weeks later, when it is too late anyway? We will never know.

Cheers for this, I wish I'd seen this prior to getting scammed earlier this month by a supposed daddy

The only real way is not to trust till you've met a couple of times, even some verified members can turn out to be scammers, and remember it smells fishy and looks fishy it is fishy,

Great advice 👍

A good site to reverse image search that I use alot is Tineye, it scans alot of sites and it's helped me catch fakes from other sites alot.

Very good reading. Quite informative.

Reverse image search is a good tool, if the photos are extremely blurry is a good giveaway, if they have a phone number, or googlehangout in their profile or ask you to add them on google hangout. Most of the “dommes” on this app are scammers and fake, always some of the profile names have the same things in them. If the conversation doesn’t sounds like a normal conversation between someone, like they sound robotic thats also a good sign.

I remember, back in the day another site, pre-Fet. It was amazing and a great community. I recently signed up there and it was full of scammers. We have a responsibility to report it so it can be investigated properly and we can keep our community safe.

Don't send any money or pay for cards etc to anyone you have not met in person.Google image is a must to check out anyone's photo is real,not fake.My rule of thumb is.The internet is great if you're careful,but anyone on the internet is not real until you have met them in real life.

Reverse image search is a very powerful tool to finding out if people are fake. I use it a lot especially on Twitter and BDSMLR where they are some very convincing fake members. However on the flip side, it can be dangerous for genuine users as well. If you have pictures say on here, that are also on other personal accounts. People may be able to those personal accounts by looking the up the pictures you posted here. So do be careful and play safe.

This should be pinned to every profile

Romance scammers, been there and done that. He is still at it now, conning women out of money. Google reverse image worked well for me. Thankfully, he is not on this site. He is married, two kids, well paid job, is not short of money and has a luxury lifestyle. Certainly has opened my eyes, as to what the minority of men are capable of. Not just women who scam men, the minority of men are just as capable.