Definitely not a switch thing.

:1783813596,7316889,
Thank you for this, you are right. I hope everyone can be encouraged to dip their toes into the lifestyle and find what they are looking for. If I was against it or the way she reads it, I wouldn’t be educating anyone. Thank you for Read more… commenting

You're welcome.

I don't know if you remember, but you and I had a disagreement awhile back about definitions of D/s and M/s. I'd like to extend an olive branch to you and see if we can come to an understanding about each other's way of seeing d/s and M/s differences. Cordially, of course. If I messaged you, would you be interested in that conversation? Think of it as my apology for being rude in the comments of that post.

:1783816858,6599057,
That's cool, let people set their goals and make mistakes to either grow or recategorize themselves. Words do have meaning, but you have no clue what's actually going on in their dynamic nor will they ever fully spell all of those Read more… words out for you to interpret. I'm not going to concern myself with what consenting adults do behind closed doors in their journey.

Who said anything about concerning ourselves with what others are doing? Also, nobody's gatekeepers here. The labels are a fast-track way of getting people to understand the layout of what one is into or looking for in a partner. It's like if an American describes our government to a Norwegian by saying it's a Democratic Republic. The Norwegian then tells the American Norway is a Unitary Constitutional Monarchy. Now, each knows how each other's country functions. Obviously, there's going to be nuances. But again, we don't need to know them.

:1783781402,6599057, I'm just going to address the 'Joined and a week later announcement' portion;

First and foremost, I don't think you're wrong with your opinions on the topic on an educational sense but I will say that regardless of their experience level of all parties Read more… involved consent to the dynamic then it -is- that dynamic for them.

Whether it meets your definition is irrelevant to them. The point is that is their goal and if they stick with it they will get better at it and gain that wisdom and knowledge.

I feels like your sentiment on it wants to separate your expertise from their experience to not be associated with it because it's not to your standards when you're not involved in it because you don't feel it's been 'long enough' for them.

It can be very discouraging for new people to hear this and maybe even feel they can't achieve that and go through the process because they're not flawlessly integrated into that kind of dynamic.

Will it usually work out? No. Let's be real, but sometimes it does.

It's just perspective. Do you want to call them apprentice subs or slaves? Would that make you feel better? Call them that if it helps, just don't discourage them for putting their foot in the pool.

It's very clear you have a significant amount of experience and wisdom. How you deliver that in an educational forum is up to you. If I was new it wouldn't have been beneficial to me in this delivery off of that one portion alone.

I think you're missing the forest for the trees. What the OP wrote was, "Becoming Submissive Isn't Something You Decide Overnight.
This is another mistake I see repeatedly, people join FetLife and a week later they'reannouncing they're a "high protocol slave" or they claim to be a "24/7 submissive" despite never having experienced a real dynamic." She's pointing the rush to proclaim a label when these people haven't actually experienced the depth of the label "Slave." An analogy would be someone who likes to change the oil on their car. Then, they proclaim they want to be a mechanic yet only have the education and experience of changing oil on their own car. The OP isn't saying don't dip your ties into the water. In fact, if you reread it, this is exactly what she's encouraging. Take the time to discover all the wonders of what it is to be a sub or slave.

I'd also say that comprehension of general definitions is important here more than most. People in this community are horrible at educating themselves about what these labels actually mean. Words have means. This world isn't one where semantics should get as much leeway as you might advocate for.
-food for thought.

:1783370614,4481636, If you still fail to grasp the difference between static pressure and the motion of water, I don't think I can explain it to you. Her original metaphor, that the impact of the moving water slowly erodes even rock, even as the immediate impact is felt more Read more… by the water, is a beautiful one. I look forward to reading yours!

It's also not for me to rewrite her poem. I made a suggestion and explained my reasoning. She shot it down. Why I have to explain this to you again is astounding at this point. It must be so taxing for someone to be your sub. Having to explain themselves to you over and over.

:1783370614,4481636, If you still fail to grasp the difference between static pressure and the motion of water, I don't think I can explain it to you. Her original metaphor, that the impact of the moving water slowly erodes even rock, even as the immediate impact is felt more Read more… by the water, is a beautiful one. I look forward to reading yours!

I told you to stop before you made a fool of yourself. I literally explained the cause of static pressure in regards to the ocean floor. You don't need to explain it to me because you clearly don't understand it and will fuck it up.

:1783356945,4481636, Hey, it's not that deep (pun intended). You didn't get the hydrology right regarding pressure, it's velocity that erodes; otherwise the bottom of the ocean would be constantly eroded. You didn't improve the imagery, since the ocean is a vastly different Read more… metaphor than water on its own. I'd love to see what you write comparing subs to the ocean, but outside that just chalk it up to learning, we're all here to get better.

I'm asking to drop this so as not to embarrass yourself further. In order for erosion to occur, water functions as a wedge even at the molecular level. In order for a wedge to be effective, it needs ***.

Motion, which is none descript, has no explanatory use other than to signify a direction. Velocity is s***d + direction. This also does not describe the erosion process. It just describes the rate the erosion is happening.

The bottom of the ocean, in many ways, is constantly eroding. The problem is that the pressures of the ocean are countered by the resistance of the solid earth. The physical material can't be broken down further because of the gravitational limit.

It baffles me as to why you and she seem to be bothered by my suggestion to use different wording. This poem could be really, really good. I haven't heard anyone refer to a sub's strength in such a way before. Using what I think are very accurate metaphorical prose.

:1783347500,2454534,
Thanks for pointing out the hypocrisy. ❤️Such a weird assumption he makes that I posted for his critiques.

My assumption isn't that you post for 'my' criticism. But you post for a Read more… reason. That was my underlining question. If you aren't open to friend feedback, what was the point of posting?

:1783335418,4481636,
If you weren't looking for critiques of your feedback on OP's art, why did you post it? Water doesn't need pressure to erode, only motion.

I'm fine with someone rebutting my critique as Read more… long as they have something intelligent to add. What makes you think I have a problem with criticism.

What creates motion? Pressure/***. Thereby, what I originally said was correct.

No, DenverBunny. A single droplet can't erode a mountain on its own. It needs pressure. Raging floods and large bodies of water are classic metaphors used to symbolize might, power, and serenity because of the kinetic energy built up within itself. I recommended 'ocean' to replace 'water' because Read more… of the imagery you were trying to convey in the verses.

All good art undergoes its own unique process of development. I really think your poem has that artistic potential of introducing unseasoned doms and subs to the very real power an experience sub brings.

If you weren't looking for critiques, why did you post it? What kind of feedback were you looking for?

DenverBunny, reading through your prose poetry, it feels like using ocean instead of water might hit harder. Water can also be weak in so little as a droplet or creek. I think with the verses you've used describing power, personality, and temperment, the word ocean feels more suitable. Just some Read more… constructive criticism.

Also, it feels like you could have expanded more. The creativity was flowing, and then it cuts off kind of quickly. I think you should do another version, only really pack the essence of who a sub is into it. Help us, your audience, really see the depth of you as a sub.

Everyone who's commented has given pretty good advice. The caveat that I don't think anyone has focused on would be how to select your dom. Because the right dom will make experimentation fun and exciting. Many self-proclaimed doms will be bossy and inconsiderate. There's a lot of them. Doms worthy Read more… of the title are harder to come by. If I were in your shoes, I'd reach out to experienced submissives individually who are on here. Read their profiles to see if they match the kind of energy you feel about yourself. See what they looked for.

You can also read kink articles. Many of those forums are written by subs sharing the lived experiences.

A trick to help you weed out Doms is to have them tell or text a fantasy sex scene to you. See if their actions of how they'd treat you in the fantasy gives you happy goose bumps. You can also see if they can adjust themselves to incorporate what you like or think you would like. Especially because you already know you like to serve, you'll probably be looking for a master, not just a dom. But your acts of service need to be rewarded. They can also allow for the wrong master/dom to hurt you. So be choosy.

Bottom line is this journey into kink is a process. A marathon, not sprint. Do your best to not rush picking a dom out.

:1782800740,6636943,
Imagine an FLR at a lower level. There’s an imbalance of power. Maybe the woman makes important decisions and always has the final say, but that’s it. In that case, the power imbalance theoretically exists 24/7 as well. Would that also Read more… be an M/s relationship for you? According to your definition, it should be. Or would that not be enough for you for it to be considered part of BDSM?

There are many facets and variables. Defining a relationship solely in binary terms - as either 24/7 or not - doesn’t do justice to the diversity of possibilities.

I chose this example intentionally. Hopefully, it makes it clear that not all 24/7 dynamics are M/s, and some can even be very far from it.


Yes, FLR would fall under M/s by definition of duration of the power dynamic being constantly 24/7. M/s is part of BDSM. It seems you're making a delineation between the two. I'm not sure why.