If I toss a coin, what's the chances of me getting head?

It's a quote from the film Jay and Bob strike back. Obviously not a Kevin Smith fan :p

I am the master of the clit. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see clit, you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the clit like me. Not this little fuck, none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER! Remember Read more… that, commander of all clits! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.

I can also confirm the King Arthur chat up line works, I used it last night and was met with the reply "you can bury your sword in my stone when ever you like"

The name's Bond, Unibond. I'm here to fill your crack

I used this once on a dating site. My potential match had listed astrology as an interest l.
I just read both our horoscopes, and they say we should definelty fuck

My dick is an astronaut, it's next mission is Uranus
I've forgotten how good your pussy tastes. You'll have to remind me again sometime
Hey beautiful, how are you? I hope not to offend you, but have you ever seen a dildo in the fat arse of a guy wearing tights?
I'd love to say that you're Read more… beautiful, but beauty is on the inside. And I haven't been inside you.
I'm gonna bury my dick so far up your ass, whoever pulls it out will be crowned king Arthur

Teeth is a no for me. Many years ago, a young lady bit my shaft during a blowjob. One of her teeth pierced several layers of skin on my shaft. I'm now left with a permanent reminder of that day