Oral sex refers to all the sexual practices that involves the lips or tongue being placed on your partner’s genital area. Some more technical names for oral sex are cunnilingus, anilingus and fellatio.
Whether you're more into getting or giving, if you're a fan of oral sex the possibilities are endless. The trick is to remember that everyone is different. What sends one person wild with desire might make another cringe away in discomfort, so ask your partners how they like it and have fun experimenting.
There are countless ways to include oral sex into a BDSM scene; it’s all about the intent.
Ask yourself and your partner(s) a few questions before the scene. Once you’ve determined how you’re going to incorporate oral sex into your play, it’s an open field.
1. What do you want to accomplish by giving or receiving it? Punishment, reward or both?
2. Will you practice edging or orgasm control?
3. Do they want you to use toys as well?
4. Do you have consent?
Cunnilingus (or licking pussy) is unique to every vulva you meet. No two vagina owners like the same thing, so it’s important to find out what they enjoy and what they don’t. Do they like to be fingered at the same time? Maybe they also enjoy having their asshole teased? Dirty can be a turn on or a real killer if you don’t discuss triggers and preferences before. Again communication and consent are essential!
Fellatio is no different. All penises are different, and so are their likes and dislikes. Talk to your partner. If you happen to have the same genitalia as your partner, think about what you do and don't like. Talk about it and see if you agree or have completely different preferences.
Oral sex isn’t just limited to cocks and pussies either! Don’t forget about that ‘other hole’! Rimming and fingering your partner’s anus while giving oral sex can do wonders to heighten orgasms and pleasure senses. Again talk about it before and get consent. If it’s something new for you, then start slowly and if you’re going to be using fingers or toys, make sure everything is clean, and you have at hand any supplies you might need.
How to give the best blowjob
There's no ‘right way’ to give a blowjob. The best blowjobs are all about communication, pay attention to body language. Every penis is different; everyone has different likes and dislikes - so it’s all about experimenting with your partner and seeing what gets them hard and happy. Some like it slow, and some like it fast. Others want rhythm and variation in tempo. Others say ‘slow and steady wins the race’.
If fellatio is new for you, think about all the possibilities. You can use your hands, massage the testicles or play around with your partner’s anus - light fingering or total penetration and a prostate massage can be really hot if you do it right (and as always with consent!).
There are of course dozens of blowjob classes offered at sex shops the world over, and you can find endless video tutorials online - but you’ll never know until you talk to your partner. If you happen to have a penis, chances are you’ve probably received a fair number of blowjobs. Think about what you liked and what you didn’t enjoy so much, ask your partner if they have similar feelings.
Nothing is sexier than a good talk before and after - because during is a bit tricky, unless you’re a ventriloquist ;)
How do you give the best cunnilingus?
Communication is key. Everyone likes different things when it comes to cunnilingus, so take your key from the person you’re going down on. Ask before you start if there’s anything they really love or really hate or if the oral sex is more spontaneous start gentle and work from there. Take your keys from the person’s reaction and if you’re not sure – don’t do it without asking.
Yes, it can be difficult to talk when you have a face full of vulva, but it’s not impossible. Always get consent. Generally, people will want an amount of attention to be focused on the clit as this is the usual way that vagina owners actually come but again it’s down to communication as everyone likes different pressures, strokes and intensities when it comes to licking and sucking clit. Be open to direction and you’ll soon be giving the best head ever.
As a dominant can I give oral sex or is it a submissive thing only?
Although you’re giving pleasure, you are thoroughly in control with oral sex. So it’s perfectly fine for a Dom/me to go down on their partner/s. You get to control when they come, you can stop and make them beg for more, you can even vary oral sex pleasure with something painful – clips on cunt lips or the ball sac for example- or offer it as a treat for good behaviour. So sure, if you’re dominant, you can give oral sex too.
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