Vanilla anyone?

Can you be vanilla and kinky?

Simply put, vanilla is the opposite of everything we're about here at That doesn't mean it's a bad thing, though - quite the opposite! All kinds of sex are fantastic for the people who desire them, and the best way to run your sex life is exactly how you and your partners want to.

It's also important to bear in mind that just because someone has kinks and fetishes doesn't mean they never want good old vanilla sex. Sure, there are those amongst us who need a little kink all the while to keep it feeling good - but there are plenty more who crave a little vanilla every now and then and find the experience one that promotes intimacy and builds trust.

Kinky men into vanilla All men



Male (68)

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Cybersex, Events & Places, Swingers, Pic Exchange, Networking

Santa Barbara, USA



Male (20)    178 cm, 65 kg

BDSM Lovers, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Cybersex

Basildon, UK



Male (32)

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Events & Places

Northampton, UK



Male (53)    170 cm, 80 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange

Wycombe, UK



Male (45)    170 cm, 98 kg

Kinky Dates, Friends, LTR (relationship)

Coventry, UK



Male (23)    184 cm, 90 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange, Cybersex

Northwich, UK

Kinky women into vanilla All women



Female (27)    162 cm, - kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, LTR (relationship)

Gravesend, UK



Female (26)

BDSM Lovers, Friends, Events & Places

Manchester, UK



Female (51)    167 cm, 85 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, LTR (relationship), Events & Places, Networking

Wolverhampton, UK



Female (20)

BDSM Lovers, LTR (relationship), Cybersex, Networking

Edinburgh, UK



Female (30)    57 cm, 70 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship)

Glasgow, UK



Female (60)    160 cm, 89 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends

Nottingham, UK

Kinky couples into vanilla All couples



Female/Male (40/41)    168/183 cm, 60/73 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places, Networking

Oslo, Norway



Female/Male (26/29)    140/150 cm, -/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Swingers, Cybersex, Networking

Mansfield, UK



Female/Male (21/22)    106/- cm, 120/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, LTR (relationship)

Brewer, USA



Male/Female (29/32)    180/160 cm, 85/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places, Networking

London, UK



Male/Female (35/35)    177/152 cm, 124/74 kg

LTR (relationship), Kinky Dates, BDSM Lovers

Grants Pass, USA



Male/Female (40/36)    200/175 cm, -/- kg

Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Cybersex

Canterbury, UK

What is vanilla sex?

Often called conventional or traditional sex, it’s basically all the sexy stuff you do that doesn’t count as kinky or part of a fetish.

Is vanilla sex boring?

Not necessarily! Sex is awesome, right? And sometimes you just want some straightforward shagging. Not everyone feels kinky all the time and that’s perfectly okay. Enjoying sexual touching, without power dynamics and pain can be just what you want sometimes.

Can you be kinky and have vanilla sex?

Sure, sometimes you want a complex scene with all kinds of psychological depth, power play and pain exchange. You want to get out all your toys and use them in fun, wicked ways. However some days you just want sex. It’s perfectly fine to be kinky and enjoy a bit of vanilla sex from time to time. Variety is the spice of life after all.

My partner is vanilla, I’m kinky, will we work out?

It’s down to your own, personal dynamic. Relationships are all about communication and you need to talk to your partner about the expectations you both have for sex and sexual interactions. It might be that your partner wants to try out some kinky things, you can explore those together! If not, it is your place to decide if vanilla sex is enough for you or not. There may be options for you to get your kink and fetish place elsewhere with a different play partner. You need to chat and work out what is best for you.

Threads and discussions that include: Vanilla

  • Hi everyone. Here's something that has sparked my curiosity. Since beginning to explore and make friends on sites like this, I've read profiles and chatted to several ladies (usually but not alwa ...
    • 11 replies
  • Am I right in thinking it's the tender side of sexual behaviour? If so, what counts as too far to come under that heading? As I'm fairly new here I think it is a good place to learn, I'm all for that. ...
    • 22 replies
      • 1
      • Like
  • I've had an extremely conservative upbringing and didn't even know about kinks. Until last year I saw rough porn where the woman was ragged around (by James Deen) and I was instantly turned on. I part ...
    • 14 replies
      • 4
      • Like
  • Members looking for: Vanilla

    all-time sinner from now on. Been too vanilla for far too long & now want to become liberated & not feel self-conscious about it. Not looking for l...

    Kinky Dating18 to 65 years UK, London

    Looking to find some one to spank. Rope play, sex, possibly more, currently have a sub/vanilla relationship but open to exploring others to join us...

    Kinky Dating21 to 45 years ● 75km around UK, Wolverhampton

    I'm new to the scene and haven't really done anything beyond vanilla sex. I'm interested in finding a femdom of some kind to help me explore and le...

    Kinky Dating20 to 35 years ● 10km around USA, Wichita

    I'm at a pint in my life were I'm getting fed up with vanilla dating and want to further explore the world of BDSM/fetish/kink.

    Looking for some...

    Kinky Dating20 to 50 years ● 50km around UK, Portsmouth

    Fairly new to the area. Hoping to get the best of both worlds... indulging in my kinky side in the bedroom and the occasional vanilla date.


    Kinky Dating30 to 42 years ● 25km around UK, Winchester

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