About me
I’m looking for:
- LTR (relationship)
- BDSM Lovers
Description
I'm truly happy we all get to be perverts together, lifting each other up from whatever circumstances. Everyone deserves respect and care, even if you want to feel like nothing - I'm happy to make you, but I respect you all the same.
I live in Amsterdam and have been training girls for 12 years. I only care for long-term, so if you're looking for NSA fun, I'm not your guy. I had long relationships with subs that were 99% online, but now I feel seeing each other at least sometimes is crucial, so let's be on the same continent.
I don't wear latex nor leather. I do have a few boxes of toys though.
You can see I'm married, to a tremendous person. We write sci-fi together and both work in tech. We have been running this open relationship for 14 years now, and it's giving us a lot of energy. Helga is also quite dominant, but shy (imagine). She's a massive voyeur, but I've had subs she never met, so this definitely isn't a requirement. We're both psychologists (I have an M.S., she - a PhD) and avid feminists. I think ds is very feminist. When an ex-sub called me to say she felt another Domme has pushed her boundaries, and she used what we practiced to communicate, and then stop and leave, I felt the most proud in my life.
I go to therapy, as anyone should, if they take responsibility for someone in a *** position. I prefer to move slowly than risk trauma.
For us. There are a few scenarios.
- You want to be trained or mentored to become a sluttier version of yourself. I love this dynamic, people say I make them want to learn things. I'm a good teacher. Typically works best when you're younger, but I had a sub who was 10 years older than me as a student, it was great.
- You want to be owned as a slave. I still need you to be a functioning human, but we're happy to host for 1-14 days at a time as a type of mental vacation for you, where you don't have to think, just be a sexual object and maybe perform other functions we agree on. I only do this with gradually increasing durations: a slave is most ***, so we need to build a great understanding first.
- You want to film porn together. I'm only open to something niche - I think I can make a successful facial and/or exhibitionistic project, but your kinks are also very welcome. Art only happens when everyone has something to say
Limits
I don't make people bleed.
I don't work with "no-limits" subs
My roles & archetype
My kinks & fetishes
I like:
- Anal Plugs
- Fear Play (Active)
- Begging (Active)
- Deep Throating (Active)
- Dirty Talk
- Edging (Active)
- Erotic Art
- Erotica (Active)
- Exhibitionism (Active)
- Face Slapping (Active)
- Restraints (Active)
- Fisting (Active)
- Torturer - Captive Prisoner (Active)
- High Heel Fetish
- Humiliation (Active)
- Body Modification (Active)
- Multiple Orgasms (Active)
- Orgasm Control (Active)
- Porn
- Adult Movie Theater (Active)
- Quickies (Active)
- Role Play (Active)
- Sapiosexual
- Outdoor Sex (Active)
- Sex Parties (Active)
- Slave Training (Active)
- Sperm (Active)
- Squirting (Active)
- Vibrators
- Voyeurism (Active)
- Wet Look Clothing
Wanna know what interests me?:
Fetish.com gives you…
Fetish.com is like an appetizing smorgasbord in Amsterdam with lots of hot guys to meet up with. Have a look around first if you prefer to see who’s around, or if you know what you want, search by selecting the right category "Kinky Dating”. Nobody stays alone here for long! Fetish.com has tons going on!
I don't work with "no-limits" subs
I live in Amsterdam and have been training girls for 12 years. I Read more… only care for long-term, so if you're looking for NSA fun, I'm not your guy. I had long relationships with subs that were 99% online, but now I feel seeing each other at least sometimes is crucial, so let's be on the same continent.
I don't wear latex nor leather. I do have a few boxes of toys though.
You can see I'm married, to a tremendous person. We write sci-fi together and both work in tech. We have been running this open relationship for 14 years now, and it's giving us a lot of energy. Helga is also quite dominant, but shy (imagine). She's a massive voyeur, but I've had subs she never met, so this definitely isn't a requirement. We're both psychologists (I have an M.S., she - a PhD) and avid feminists. I think ds is very feminist. When an ex-sub called me to say she felt another Domme has pushed her boundaries, and she used what we practiced to communicate, and then stop and leave, I felt the most proud in my life.
I go to therapy, as anyone should, if they take responsibility for someone in a *** position. I prefer to move slowly than risk trauma.
For us. There are a few scenarios.
You want to be trained or mentored to become a sluttier version of yourself. I love this dynamic, people say I make them want to learn things. I'm a good teacher. Typically works best when you're younger, but I had a sub who was 10 years older than me as a student, it was great.
You want to be owned as a slave. I still need you to be a functioning human, but we're happy to host for 1-14 days at a time as a type of mental vacation for you, where you don't have to think, just be a sexual object and maybe perform other functions we agree on. I only do this with gradually increasing durations: a slave is most ***, so we need to build a great understanding first.
You want to film porn together. I'm only open to something niche - I think I can make a successful facial and/or exhibitionistic project, but your kinks are also very welcome. Art only happens when everyone has something to say
Oh yeah, and that was morning, great visibility
We've done a cumwalk with a sub, and the route was passing right next to the city's police department. Her face was marvelously ***ted, a huge buttplug under the thinnest yoga pants she could find, and I was filming right in front of the building. That was intense!
Wow, that's tough, I'm sorry. I don't know any other way except to process the trauma, which can take a lot of time and effort. Some therapists specialize in trauma, and there are whole approaches dedicated to it. You can check out EMDR, the research is great, and it's much faster than talk Read more… therapy.
The extra bonus is that all that energy you now spend on suppressing the trauma will be freed in the end, and you will feel more powerful than ever. Hope things go well!
I obviously know nothing about your relationship, but in general the most important thing is communication. You may shoot from the hip, thinking kinky sex and leaner body is what she wants, but she might need your honesty or to feel special. So the most you can reliably achieve strategizing on your Read more… own is showing her you care about her - which is a lot, but again, may not be what she needs.
So you gotta figure out how to talk about it.
Okay I give up
It wasn't. It was about people's priorities. I guess another way of looking at it is: what is the first thing a person says when you ask them, "Why are you into that?" or "What is ds?". That's why I said "interpretations". This has nothing to do with exclusion. We all do both, of course. I just Read more… noticed it really helps find people I vibe with.
Sigh. I didn't say there were "emotionless dynamics". As if there's emotionless anything. As if people don't feel things constantly.
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