BDSM

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries

There's more than one 'official' definition of what the letters in BDSM stand for, and plenty of people don't agree on their exact usage! However you use the term, though, it's a catch-all way of describing a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that are more common than many people imagine: bondage and impact play, sadism and masochism, domination and submission.

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries are all key in the practice of BDSM, and it's vital to negotiate properly with your partners before getting into anything heavy-handed. Thankfully it's not so hard to learn - most places around the world have their own BDSM communities that are only too happy to take in newbies and help them learn the ropes.

Kinky men into BDSM All men

DaddyBlueberry

DaddyBlueberry

Male (34)    180 cm, 90 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Networking

Mohave Valley, USA

Gentrich

Gentrich

Male (36)

Friends, Networking

Stratford-on-Avon, UK

Mrthickcock

Mrthickcock

Male (20)    186 cm, 180 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places

Blackpool, UK

sj9bp

sj9bp

Male (58)    190 cm, 105 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Kinky Dates

Wycombe, UK

liberation1000

liberation1000

Male (40)    178 cm, 90 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, Swingers, Pic Exchange

Tonbridge and Malling, UK

HarshestMale

HarshestMale

Male (34)    184 cm, 81 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange, Cybersex

Leeds, UK

Kinky women into BDSM All women

Playme

Playme

Female (35)    160 cm, - kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places

Leeds, UK

Dark_Princess

Dark_Princess

Female (26)    165 cm, 73 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends

Bristol, UK

cazz

cazz

Female (54)    170 cm, - kg

Friends, NSA (no strings...)

Ashfield, UK

Amberkitty

Amberkitty

Female (21)    172 cm, 77 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends

Lumber Bridge, USA

babygirldina

babygirldina

Female (18)    152 cm, 40 kg

BDSM Lovers

London, UK

jayjaysub

jayjaysub

Female (51)    167 cm, 85 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, LTR (relationship)

Wolverhampton, UK

Kinky couples into BDSM All couples

LatexLovers

LatexLovers

Female/Male (37/41)    177/176 cm, 68/90 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Swingers

Potsdam, Germany

Cade

Cade

Male/Female (43/28)    180/167 cm, 64/45 kg

LTR (relationship), Kinky Dates, BDSM Lovers

Lakeland, USA

Slinky230

Slinky230

Male/Female (48/46)    -/- cm, -/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Events & Places

London, UK

SadoPaarHZ

SadoPaarHZ

Female/Male (52/58)    165/172 cm, 66/68 kg

LTR (relationship), BDSM Lovers

Halberstadt, Germany

Rhino88

Rhino88

Male/Female (30/33)    182/165 cm, 80/62 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, NSA (no strings...), Cybersex

London, UK

Submissivesearch

Submissivesearch

Male/Female (29/31)    180/160 cm, -/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places

London, UK

What does BDSM Stand for?

Each initial stands for different elements, Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism and you will see a mix of these used by different people.

What is BDSM?

Erotic practices that revolve around bondage, dominance, submission, sadomasochism and control. BDSM is a huge category that covers everything from a gentle hand spanking and hair tugging during sex to extremes such as needleplay and whipping. BDSM can be practised at home or can take place is clubs and dungeons. Some people are very involved with their local BDSM scene others keep it within their relationship and at home. There’s no one right way to practise BDSM, there are many different approaches.

How can I add BDSM into my sex life?

If you’re curious and want to try it out, then start by adding some lighter activities into your play. Maybe try some light spanks during sex or hair pulling. Invest in a flogger or light paddle if you want to experience a slightly harder spanking experience. You can use every day items such as belts, pegs and ties to spice up your sex life. Use them to attach your partner to the bed, or if they’re up for it, use the belt to administer a spanking. Normal wooden clothes pegs can be used as nipple clamps. It’s very intense so don’t expect to keep them on long first time out!

Always remember consent is key and be sure to know all the risks involved before indulging in a little BDSM play.

Do I need a safeword for BDSM play?

Yes, you need a safeword or non-verbal equivalent for all kinds of BDSM play. It may be that you agree that when you say stop, the person stops. If you think you might say ‘stop’ or ‘no’ and not really mean it, then use a safeword that you wouldn’t normally say during play.

You can always use the traffic light system to check in during play. Green means you’re happy to continue, Amber/yellow means you need them to stop what they’re doing or change what they’re doing. Amber might involve stopping play for a moment to discuss what happens next or may indicate to the top that they need to change implement/area. That is something you need to decide between you before play. Red means immediate stop. Often it is the end of a scene and the beginning of aftercare.

During scenes where you’re unable to speak, if you’re using gags or are trying breathplay, you need a safeword alternative to communicate with the top. This can be a pattern of grunts, dropping something held in your hand or tapping the top. It’s essential that a bottom can communicate at all times.

Threads and discussions that include: BDSM

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  • New to bdsm

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