BDSM

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries

There's more than one 'official' definition of what the letters in BDSM stand for, and plenty of people don't agree on their exact usage! However you use the term, though, it's a catch-all way of describing a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that are more common than many people imagine: bondage and impact play, sadism and masochism, domination and submission.

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries are all key in the practice of BDSM, and it's vital to negotiate properly with your partners before getting into anything heavy-handed. Thankfully it's not so hard to learn - most places around the world have their own BDSM communities that are only too happy to take in newbies and help them learn the ropes.

Kinky men into BDSM All men

Cruxdom

Cruxdom

Male (68)

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places, Networking

Santa Barbara, USA

morris159

morris159

Male (58)    176 cm, 96 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Pic Exchange, Cybersex

London, UK

Chennie875

Chennie875

Male (19)    165 cm, 76 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Networking

Bethlehem, USA

BeardedSi

BeardedSi

Male (34)

Friends, Events & Places, Networking

Chester, UK

QuietConfident

QuietConfident

Male (35)    170 cm, 80 kg

Friends, BDSM Lovers, LTR (relationship)

Chichester, UK

Seawatcher1968

Seawatcher1968

Male (51)    181 cm, 105 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, LTR (relationship), Events & Places, Networking

Stratford-on-Avon, UK

Kinky women into BDSM All women

BerryBrighton

BerryBrighton

Female (37)    150 cm, - kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates

Brighton and Hove, UK

MistressMD

MistressMD

Female (36)

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Pic Exchange, Cybersex, Events & Places, Networking

Dudley, UK

Tactile2468

Tactile2468

Female (43)    157 cm, 55 kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, LTR (relationship), Events & Places, Networking

Cardiff, UK

Sassy13

Sassy13

Female (37)    169 cm, - kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, Pic Exchange, Events & Places

Reading, UK

saphy

saphy

Female (37)    172 cm, - kg

Friends, Events & Places

North Ayrshire, UK

KAPA53

KAPA53

Female (23)    178 cm, - kg

BDSM Lovers, Friends, NSA (no strings...), Events & Places

Cotswold, UK

Kinky couples into BDSM All couples

NandS

NandS

Male/Female (41/27)    180/167 cm, -/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, LTR (relationship)

Bournemouth, UK

Cade

Cade

Male/Female (43/28)    180/167 cm, 64/45 kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, LTR (relationship)

Lakeland, USA

AKFantasyworld

AKFantasyworld

Male/Female (58/53)    188/150 cm, -/- kg

BDSM Lovers, Kinky Dates, Friends, NSA (no strings...), LTR (relationship), Swingers, Pic Exchange, Events & Places, Networking

Watton, UK

mcrkinkycouple

mcrkinkycouple

Male/Female (46/34)    -/- cm, -/- kg

NSA (no strings...), Friend with benefits, BDSM Lovers

Bury, UK

Xtasia

Xtasia

Female/Male (42/58)    -/- cm, -/- kg

NSA (no strings...), Friends, Swingers, Friend with benefits, Events & Places, BDSM Lovers

West Bromwich, UK

bigdaddyanddebil

bigdaddyanddebil

Male/Female (56/50)    183/163 cm, 123/118 kg

Friends, Swingers, Friend with benefits, BDSM Lovers

Waynesboro, USA

What does BDSM Stand for?

Each initial stands for different elements, Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism and you will see a mix of these used by different people.

What is BDSM?

Erotic practices that revolve around bondage, dominance, submission, sadomasochism and control. BDSM is a huge category that covers everything from a gentle hand spanking and hair tugging during sex to extremes such as needleplay and whipping. BDSM can be practised at home or can take place is clubs and dungeons. Some people are very involved with their local BDSM scene others keep it within their relationship and at home. There’s no one right way to practise BDSM, there are many different approaches.

How can I add BDSM into my sex life?

If you’re curious and want to try it out, then start by adding some lighter activities into your play. Maybe try some light spanks during sex or hair pulling. Invest in a flogger or light paddle if you want to experience a slightly harder spanking experience. You can use every day items such as belts, pegs and ties to spice up your sex life. Use them to attach your partner to the bed, or if they’re up for it, use the belt to administer a spanking. Normal wooden clothes pegs can be used as nipple clamps. It’s very intense so don’t expect to keep them on long first time out!

Always remember consent is key and be sure to know all the risks involved before indulging in a little BDSM play.

Do I need a safeword for BDSM play?

Yes, you need a safeword or non-verbal equivalent for all kinds of BDSM play. It may be that you agree that when you say stop, the person stops. If you think you might say ‘stop’ or ‘no’ and not really mean it, then use a safeword that you wouldn’t normally say during play.

You can always use the traffic light system to check in during play. Green means you’re happy to continue, Amber/yellow means you need them to stop what they’re doing or change what they’re doing. Amber might involve stopping play for a moment to discuss what happens next or may indicate to the top that they need to change implement/area. That is something you need to decide between you before play. Red means immediate stop. Often it is the end of a scene and the beginning of aftercare.

During scenes where you’re unable to speak, if you’re using gags or are trying breathplay, you need a safeword alternative to communicate with the top. This can be a pattern of grunts, dropping something held in your hand or tapping the top. It’s essential that a bottom can communicate at all times.

Threads and discussions that include: BDSM

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  • Members looking for: BDSM

    I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for 5 months and I'm looking for someone that will dominate me. I'm very submissive and I'm looking for friends t...

    Kinky Dating20 to 40 years ● 5km around USA, Thomasville

    Really new to bdsm but also cool with just hanging out. Im actually 19 years old. So if anyond wanta to check me out ill send you a picture of my f...

    Kinky Dating18 to 20 years ● 5km around China, Shanghai City District

    I'm a confident bdsm dominatrix mistress, looking for a submissive/slave to share our kinks and fantasies together with something serious and LTR. ...

    Kinky Dating40 to 85 years ● 150km around USA, Columbus

    Male 20, i am looking for female who will obey me and i will humilate her, pet play, chocked, bdsm. I love to meet at your place. I am also involv...

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    Sorry for the longness if it, but you must be a very open minded woman. Any body shape or size, willing to drive and host because I can't and don't...

    Kinky Dating18 to 50 years ● 300km around USA, Chula Vista

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