Photos

Status

Not single

In a relationship with tanew

Personal details

Gender Man
Age 44
Status Not single
Height 188cm
Body shape Average build
Eye colour Brown
Hair colour Brown
Hair length Short
Beard 5 o'clock shadow
Orientation Bisexual
Ethnicity Caucasian white
Origin England
Body hair Some hair
Zodiac sign Virgo
Glasses
Smoker
Tattoos
Piercings

About me

Interested in:

I’m looking for:

Description

When it comes to sex I am a secret, sensual, sybaritic, seraphic, striking, seductive sadist, delighting in degenerate, debauched deviancy.

I thrive on the darker, more adventurous and daring side of carnal delights, with many years as a Dominant (more than all my adult life). Love to explore and experience as much as life has to offer. To tease and expand my partners limits (or with the right partner completely obliterate them, but that is more than most can contemplate). I have almost no limits in what I can enjoy with the right person (I play to other people's limits) but the mental side of things and finding my partner's mental triggers is what really excites me. Where you can tease someone to the point of complete, body trembling, mind numbing, exhausting arousal. By touch, talk, tease, stimulation, excitement, a tinge of fear, triggers or any other tools that can be utilised. Tying someone so every sense is heightened, every sound sends quakes of anticipation through every atom, every touch causes tremors to run right through you. And for those that are a little more daring the more extreme side of things.

I love taboos; sexual humiliation, role play, hypnotism. But again not everything works for everyone. It's all about finding the things that work between you, and the spark between two people is paramount. Even the most 'tame' of things can be amazing with the right person, whereas the most erotic of things can fall flat with the wrong one.

Outside of the lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, and lustful joys of life I like to think I am fairly intelligent… possibly ever so slightly pretentious, creative, witty, and companionable but all of that is subjective and obviously I'm biased so you'll have to make up your own mind. Similarly I get told I am attractive but that is for others to say. I am self confident and have been blessed with full and well rounded life to this point. And importantly, in spite of my alternative tastes I am safe, sane and pass for 'normal', keeping the depravity hidden behind my eyes when not appropriate (though it is fun to have that frisson of 'if only they knew').

So if you feel bold and brave, or rash and reckless then please email and let's see what fun we can find together.

My places

Fetish.com gives you…


Fetish.com is like an appetizing smorgasbord in Nursted with lots of hot guys to meet up with. Have a look around first if you prefer to see who’s around, or if you know what you want, search by selecting the right category "Kinky Dating”. Nobody stays alone here for long! Fetish.com has tons going on!

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 25.11.2023 3:47:39
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Did I dodge a bullet?

One thing though, it does not make you a failure. You know what you are good at. If someone brand new in your field made mistakes or didn’t do something perfectly would you judge them a failure? Or would you try to help them understand? Now from what I have read I don’t think you did anything wrong Read more… anyway. But even if you had why should you be expected to know something you had no experience of.

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 25.11.2023 3:37:29
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Did I dodge a bullet?

I think you have your answer there.

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 25.11.2023 3:33:19
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Did I dodge a bullet?

As a general rule no. These should be as a rule fundamental basics of BDSM relationships. There are people who specifically do not want these for various reasons but should only ever be entertained with full understanding of potential risks and pitfalls and acceptance of what that might entail.

LikeAngelbaby865 · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 25.11.2023 3:24:11
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Did I dodge a bullet?

I think the upshot here isn’t whether you dodged a bullet or not. I think the main take away is you know what is right for you and how this didn’t match up to that.

LikeLisaanna113 · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 25.11.2023 2:51:44
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Did I dodge a bullet?

Ok there are a number of things here. From the sound of things you never agreed to enter into this. He decided you should. There doesn’t sound like he have any consideration to your circumstances or real life priorities or necessities. It also doesn’t sound like there was clear communication on Read more… what was expected or desired. He said he was good with “those sort of problems” but without knowing what those are I would ask if he has actually shown that he has any consideration of them or not. He hasn’t given you any idea what meeting will entail… so no discussion of limits? Safe words? Physical/mental limitations/triggers/limits(soft and hard)? Reassurance?
Has he shown any background or experiences that he knows what he is doing? Or that he actually understands what you want need?
Is it mutual?
Obviously I have no idea what connection you had or the messages shared but how much could have been said as something that could have been said as something you wanted to hear?
I don’t know these answers.

LikeAngelbaby865 · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 18.11.2023 21:04:16
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Love and The Dynamic.

Basically it has helped form the people that we are, and that’s the person I love.

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 18.11.2023 21:03:08
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Love and The Dynamic.

I find this a little hard to disambiguate. For me the dynamic is a part of our relationship. But so is enjoying their company, making each other laugh etc etc etc. Kink is a part of who I am, and the same for my partner, not just roles we play, but also not solely what defines who we are, as Read more… individuals or as a couple. So to imagine if the relationship would work without kink is trying to imagine if I wasn’t me or if I was different and so were they then would it work… I don’t know that I can answer one way or another.

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 15.11.2023 0:46:47
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Advice - Daddy cheated :(

I think without further understanding it’s hard to know what to advise. You said you are non monotonous. Was there a discussed understanding of what that entails for you both? Was it clear what you both needed and wanted and what the dynamic and boundaries were? What did the cheating entail and why Read more… did it hurt so much for you? There are sliding scales for all of this and people will find what works for them. As said above clear communication is key.
That said once trust is broken it is hard (but not impossible) to regain it. The amygdala/hippocampus will always play out worst case scenarios. So to build up trust again sometime it will take going over and above to prove trust again. And sometimes that is more than the person is happy or willing to do. Sometimes people are willing to forgive because what is there is worth it for them. It is always down to the individuals involved and what they are happy to accept or not.
This also plays into grief. Grief isn’t always about a bereavement, it’s also about any loss of hoped for or expected future. And all the stages of grief may or may not apply. Time helps, focusing on doing what you need to do for mental health generally allows the brain to process (endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine) spending time with friends family pets etc, doing positive things for you, cathartic exercises (drawing, music, jigsaws, writing etc etc), exercise. All allow the brain to process and move forward.

LikeWoody3180, wannabeagoodgirl, Sir_Yvonand 2 more… · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 14.11.2023 14:08:57
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Love and The Dynamic.

But from personal experience all my relationships have been both relationship and dynamic intertwined. It’s never been a role just a part of the relationship, where the dynamic is always there but not always played upon. I’ve never felt the need to prove my dominance and don’t worry about if Read more… something fits the role… it’s just a part of the relationship, which also includes all the aspects of a vanilla relationship.

Likewannabeagoodgirl, Sir_Yvon · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 14.11.2023 14:04:35
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Love and The Dynamic.

Yes it is absolutely possible.
As to the other… that’s a rather more philosophical question and brighter people than I have argued over what love is and how to tell it apart…
(Resisting the urge to launch into a rendition of “if it’s love, and it really is, it’s there in his kiss”)

LikeStoryteller05, NaavaPhoenix, LaylaNessand 1 more… · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 03.11.2023 3:33:51
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Hiding a secret on my work trip

Whilst I do somewhat agree I also agree with what someone else said too. If you are engaging in things that excite your kink at least a portion of your mind is not focused on what your company is actually paying you for. Take kink out of if, if you were playing a game of your phone, recording a Read more… TikTok, drawing a picture, daydreaming about Bahamas, planning a DND campaign, eating a meal, painting your toenails, getting a massage or anything else… that’s not what you are being paid to focus on… even if you are still being active in the proceedings. I love secret public play but just be aware of the potential risks and what you are happy to accept the consequences for.

DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 03.11.2023 3:26:06
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Hiding a secret on my work trip

“20 and I’ll buy a new vibrating butt plug to use. “
Might want to consider this carefully. Whilst the idea might be appealing many/most vibrating options aren’t as silent/inconspicuous as you may want/hope.

LikeMinnesotaMinx · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 06.09.2023 13:58:36
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Regarding consent

By all means roll your eyes, and you are well entitled to not want consent in your relationships. CNC is therefore implicit for you (so in that sense you have already consented). As mentioned by others consent doesn’t have to be long/drawn out/ brought up every 5 seconds. I have never found it to Read more… diminish my masculinity or Dominance either. In fact I generally don’t feel the need to “prove” either of those.
Not everyone is the same. Some find edgeplay with potential threat exciting, others need to feel safe before they are able to let go.
All of that said there are some potentially very serious issues which need to be considered.
As a Dom I know full well that if I do not have consent then I am at risk legally. I have to trust that my partner will not decide that things were a consent violation and go to police etc. even later on. This can and does happen. There have been cases of sub drop and/or remorse, or where in the moment the sun felt unable/scared to say no even when things went too far for them. Now I do enjoy edgeplay, CNC and the extremes, but I do so with the full knowledge of the potential risks. And those risks aren’t negligible, I know of people whose lives have been significantly impacted by the fallout, their lives, livelihoods, social standing etc.
As a sub if these are not discussed then you leave yourself open to harm. As mentioned everyone has limits. FGM, MGM, animals, permanent marks, branding, scarification, needles, permanent harm, snuff, etc are all fantasies people have (there’s enough porn out there for all of these). Do you consent to these? Now you may be happy just focusing on positives and getting to know the person so you can trust them. But while these are extreme examples the may well be other not so extreme limits that can also impact play. Even some words can completely throw someone out of mood, or play upon personal traumas etc. I personally would rather know what to avoid prior to play than have it come up during and have everything g completely stop.
And this goes further. I personally know several people that have been the victims of sexual abuse. And the fact that the body reacts to something they VERY DEFINITELY did not want has caused significant long lasting mental trauma in some. The fact the body reacts isn’t consent.
As I say consent doesn’t have to be tiresome, dredged over endlessly, or constantly brought up. I personally have never found it to be any sort of hindrance (even for the extremes of things I enjoy). And complete free use CNC is fine (and a lot of fun) for those who want it, but being aware of and accepting the risks is important. If you do not know what you are consenting to the fallout for all involved can be potentially disastrous.

LikeWoody3180, almost_there, Honeypie98and 2 more… · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 04.09.2023 0:49:50
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
I need some input

What do… start small. Find munches, kink groups, open minded people. Open up little by little. The more you find people happy to accept you the more you teach your brain it’s ok to be you. Will it be everyone (even in the kink world)? No… but that really doesn’t matter. Most people wishing the kink Read more… world are happy for you to be happy, whatever that may involve as long as it doesn’t negatively impact someone else.

LikeThaliaVirago, GoddessMadameLoki · Jump to discussion
DeviantInside
icon-wio DeviantInside wrote something in the forum
  • 04.09.2023 0:46:58
  • Male (44)
  • Nursted
  • Not single
Chronic pain.

Ok… the pleasure and pain centres of the brain are pretty much the same. There have also been studies that show that the way the brain reacts to pain when aroused and not are different, when aroused the pain threshold increases.
This also links to endorphins and dopamine which interact with the Read more… opioid receptors in the brain and are way more powerful than morphine (forget offhand whether it’s 30x or 60x more powerful). Linked to this is a hierarchy or pain in the brain, you have chronic vs chronic pain. Acute pain overrides chronic pain and shuts it down (or basically the brain receives the acute pain signal and ignores the chronic pain as less immediately important), then you get other signals that override both (heat, cold, vibration etc), then you get the dopamine, endorphin, serotonin response which is able to override all of the above (which is why you get people who were out having an amazing time and didn’t notice the nail that went through their foot etc).

LikeThaliaVirago, NaughtyBrat87, Loulou94 · Jump to discussion

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