I'm a pansexual, polyamorous nonbinary person that is a switch between a Dom and a sub.
I want a Dom and a sub so when I am a sub me and my sub can serve our Dom and when I'm a Dom me and my Dom can double-up on our sub. I love spankings and pain in generally. I love medical equipment and stockings with straps. I love bondage and wax play and maybe a little bit of blood play. I love pet play and age play(not sexual though). Oh and wearing clothes so I can take them off is a must. That's about it but I might get more. I'm and masocist and a sadist btw.
Heterosexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian, transsexual, we're all familiar with these terms - but what about pansexuality? Fetish.com writer Sienna Saint-Cyr takes a look.
Finding a place for pansexuality
For years I struggled fitting into communities. I’m not heterosexual, so didn’t fit with that Read more… crowd. I didn’t fit in with the bisexuals either, though they are certainly easier than most groups. I’m attracted to all types of people no matter what gender they claim or sexual preference they lean toward. When I’m drawn to someone it’s because I’m attracted to who they are on a soul level. Not their body or gender.
A lot of groups don’t like this. I went to a couple of lesbian bars, and I was met with ridicule because I had a husband that I desired just as much as my female partners. I was insulted and labelled as merely ‘playing’ with women - as if it were an exploration or popular claim.
Pansexuality: finally the label that fits
I left the lesbian bar scene, the trans bar too since I was met with just as much opposition there, and finally found my comfort in the kink community. They embraced me and accepted me for who I was. They didn’t try to fit me in a box and keep me there. This is also where I learned what I am. Finally, I had a label that fitted me… pansexuality.
Spreading the word on pansexuality
It took a little while for the word to get around. I began sharing that I was pansexual and people looked at me with raised brows. Sometimes they still do. But this is who I am, so I’m vocal about it and speak out. I have to say, though, that I still haven’t found a group specifically for pansexuals. This isn’t something just pansexuals struggle with either. A lot of groups do. Whether it’s because of gender identity or sexual preference, it seems if you are not clearly marked heterosexual or gay, finding acceptance is difficult.
The kink community embraces pansexuality
Since I found approval in the kink community, I often suggest it even for vanilla folks. Because in that community most of us understand that our desires are vital to our happiness and we tend not to judge. To each their own mentality. Kinky folks embraced my pansexuality even when I didn’t fully understand who I was and what I was about yet.
Speaking at conventions, writing about my sexuality, sharing that I’m pansexual, all of these things have helped me find peace with myself. As it turns out, there are a lot of people embracing the pansexuality label. So by speaking out and being proud of who we are, we make way for others to understand themselves and embrace who they are too.Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
What are your experiences with labels and pansexuality? Let us know in the comments below or on the Fetish.com forum.