I’m looking for a Dom, not a Daddy. Talk to me to find out who I am before having preconceived notions about who or how they think I should be. I am definitely funny and sweet, classy and dedicated, confident and definitive outside of the lifestyle, free thinking but live a conservative lifestyle outside of a dynamic. I have brat qualities with a side of sadistic.
A little over a year ago I found myself in a dynamic with someone abusive. Having been in this lifestyle for over 20 years I thought I’d recognize abuse if it ever happened to me. Looking back, what I have discovered is that it is much easier to see an abusive dynamic when it’s not your own. I was doing great, ready to begin the process of opening back up, when out of the blue he reached out in July and it brought me back to questioning myself and why he had gotten through my radar.
I have learned that I am going to require a Dom/Sadist who is willing to take the time to build that trust and be open to me seeking clarification and guidance whenever I begin to question myself once more. Where once I knew who I was implicitly, I now find myself a work in progress.
Unless you are funny, charming, engaging, and articulate on top of the qualities above, please don’t reach out because I will not engage.
Contracts are not contracts unless they’re legal. Otherwise they’re useless and pointless.
Look at your own statement which says legally binding. Check yourself before trying to make a pointless point.
I’m in law and there is no such thing as a legal contract in my world. It’s not binding on anyone, will not help you in the event of charges, and will not protect you civilly.
The answer to your question is subjective. My first thought was no. If there’s not an understanding, guidelines, expectations, etc there can be no dynamic but then I started thinking about it. I think with the newer generation things are being done differently than we do so that’s up to the Read more… individuals involved. Even play partners have a dynamic of sorts.
Mine always wanted submission. The BJ comments make it more about sexual gratification than anything.
You like what you like. Not necessarily a fetish though.
Would you do this in your normal life outside of kink? It’s different for everyone. For me, it would be not normal to go there on a first meet. Others are different. Best of luck.
Quit being rude, please. You’re hostility is not warranted nor does it create an environment that is welcoming to invite different opinions.
I’m not one to want in your face dick pics so something a bit mysterious that puts on a show but is more creative. Same with arse pics. If you can work your forearms in there, I’d be in heaven with forearm porn. Have ink? Let it show.
Is this a personal dynamic or a third-party dynamic? Your post could go either way. I’m in my dynamic, I’d absolutely have a say. In another person’s dynamic? None of my business.
Research, research, and more research is what he first needs to explore. There are a bunch of websites and literature that are good resources. After he feels like he has a picture of what he wants this dynamic to look like, communicating what he needs will flow much easier. Just like anything else Read more… in life we are trying to learn, knowledge is power.
Wow. Is this piece written because you’ve been told you’re not their “the one”? As someone who has tried out Mr. Right (now) by compromising and shaving off aspects I was initially looking for, it fails, and if you’re not careful, you get hurt. Afterwards, you begin to ask yourself if maybe the Read more… problem was you and you’re the reason for the abuse because you placed your trust into someone who wasn’t worthy of it.
I have put my standards back into place and while they are high, they are reasonable but most importantly, they are what I need, not want, to enable me to trust again. If someone isn’t willing to do the work, than I’m unwilling to put myself into a precarious situation whereby I have to first learn to trust myself again before healing can happen. I’d rather be alone than lower my expectations of what I need.
I read your user name as his stubby and my first thought was way to embrace the stubby one.
I believe, and I could absolutely be dead wrong, that since you know you have this condition and are aware of the triggers that bring out the negative behaviors, that you are in a much better place than a crapload of others. What you will absolutely require is a submissive who is aware of your Read more… condition and is strong enough to tell you when your need for control bleeds out too far. Or simply one who is strong enough to tell you that unless you can rein in those behaviors, the trust within the dynamic will be broken and it’s time to part ways.
I thought I saw a comment up the thread that said NPD cannot be treated. I want to see their degree because according to my psychiatrist, there isn’t a mental health condition that cannot be treated and controlled utilizing the proper methods whether through medication, talk therapy, TMC, etc. Like anything else in life, the key to success is knowing what the issue is, accepting that it exists, making the determination to submit to treatment, and embracing the knowledge that it doesn’t need to destroy you or those around you.
Of course, you could always find a brat who will spin you up like a top until you cannot remember who is supposed to have the control. I mean, do us brats ever really, 100% give complete control to someone else without our imagination dreaming up ways to slip through a loophole?