"Unconditional submission" should be a very rare thing that only exists in extreme dynamics.
Hypothetically lets imagine I'm meeting a dominant who in their first message asked for "complete, unconditional submission" and I agreed. The dominant presents a large trunk, and orders me to get into it. Read more… They then lock the trunk, and throw it into a lake.
If I'm submitting unconditionally, that implies I'm consenting to whatever a dominant partner wants to do to me, including simply dispose of me. However the pool of submissives who would climb into the trunk with the knowledge of what's going to happen next is extremely small. Most people who practice informed and responsible kink follow either SSCK, safe sane consensual kink, or RACK, risk aware consensual kink. The former is flatly incompatible with unconditional submission, because only submitting to sane things is a condition. The latter requires that you don't ask for unconditional submission until the sub is aware of all the risks involved. And the risks of open ended submission include literally everything: death, dismemberment, financial ruin, legal consequences, etc.
I consider it a red flag when a dominant asks me for unconditional submission (especially early before I even know what their kinks are), or if a sub professes to have "no limits." It usually means the person hasn't seriously thought about what they're talking about. It is also a MASSIVE red flag for scamming. I've dealt with a lot of scammers posing as dommes, and every single one has been looking for a "loyal, honest submissive" willing to completely and totally submit. Because someone who submits totally is very easy to steal from, and most likely not considering the possibility that the person they're talking to looks nothing like the profile picture.
To be fair, this kind of total power exchange dynamic is right for some people. But that should be an evolution on an existing relationship with a lot of trust. The more normal it is in the community to start things off by discussing limits and expectations freely, the better things will be, and the harder it'll be for scammers to hide.

The main red flag I was referring to is that the dom was explicitly looking for a lifestyle sub. Your profile explicitly said you were not looking to be a lifestyle sub. A good dom would have seen that and moved on. Someone who keeps talking to you and meets up knowing that you've plainly stated Read more… that you aren't what they're looking for is dangerous. It's a hallmark of someone who could turn psychologically manipulative. You say you've got 31 years of experience, but by the sound of it, you've never been swimming in the water with a shark. The deeper you go, the more he'll get attached to you, and should you try to get away later, that's when you get hurt. Everything is great up until then. That's when you see the damage he's had the opportunity to do psychologically, and when you're in physical danger.
You know who's great at making people experience shifts in opinion? Cult leaders. Con artists. Healthy D/S relationships are about control, and this sounds like manipulation.

This is a gigantic red flag. The foundation of good BDSM is safe, sane, and consensual. The last part in particular means that subs are allowed to set their own limits. You can decide what you do or do not consent to, and no dom has the right to overstep that. Doing so shows that they do not Read more… respect you and quite frankly should not be trusted. A dom who ignores your bounds because they want something you did not consent to is a person who could threaten your wellbeing, who could become outright dangerous to you, emotionally or physically. You said you didn't want lifestyle. Even though he absolutely wanted lifestyle, he tried pursuing things with you. That's disrespectful, and frankly terrifying.
It's normal for many subs to be turned on by having their limits pushed, or being "***d" into things they don't want. There's a whole kink called consentual non-consent (CNC) for people who are turned on by the idea of being sexually ***ed. It's normal, but I assume there are good reasons you decided you didn't want a BDSM lifestyle. Don't let your libido override your sense.
My recommendation is to bail. It feels good now, but there are a lot of ways this could turn toxic or destructive to your life. It can be enjoyable to have a partner who disrespects you in play, but a partner who shows so little respect for you outside of it is dangerous.

Yes, testosterone can cause testicular shrinkage. It can also cause a lot of other negative side effects, including emotional ones that could make you unsuitable or dangerous as an emotional partner. In the long term, it can cause permanent health problems.
The most common emasculating element in Read more… cuckolding is a chastity device. With one on, she can genuinely make fun of you for being unable to satisfy her.
Another potential option would be *** that cause erectile dysfunction. That way your cock is ***d to stay soft (and appear smaller than its fully erect size). Unlike with a chastity cage, you can still play with yourself during the experience, although it will be less effective, and you'll be very unlikely to experience an orgasm. Diuretic medicines would seem to be the best choice; their intended use is to make you *** more, which adds on to the humiliating aspect. Before taking any kind of biomechanic altering substance, it's important to do your research, learn what the side-effects are, and make sure you're ok with anything else it could cause.

Unfortunately, this is sort of a systemic problem: more submissives attracted to women than dominant women. Women actually looking for a relationship with dominance in the bedroom have a wide choice of partners, and the majority of the pool left looking are either after something extreme (looking Read more… for a 24/7 no limits slave), or just in it for the ***. It'll be an issue no matter what site you choose.

That seems... absolutely right. It also explains/covers my love of physical contact. Being grabbed, squeezed, held down, body contact, etc. I think you hit the nail on the head.

I know enough epistemology to understand that labels aren't too important, but I also recognize that they're useful. If I can find a term to describe this accurately, it makes me easier to find for compatible dommes, and makes it easier for me to find them.
I'm not sure if praise-kink is the right Read more… term. I always like making my partner feel good. I want her to be comfortable, happy, turned on, and whenever possible, satisfied. Praise affirms that I'm doing a good job. A woman calling me sexy makes me happy, but it doesn't inherently turn me on. Not like being called adorable does. I think I like it as a form of gentle ***. It's precisely because I'm not a little that using similar terms turns me on. Which fits with the underwear too. Giving someone else control over that certainly feels (the good kind of) degrading to me.