Exactly right just Jen if it's just a play partner. My suggestion as far as finding your limits would be to start with things you know you wouldn't be interested in like scat, knife play, permanent markings, brandings etc. I'm not saying that those are things you should avoid I'm just saying pick Read more… out ones you know you don't want. Then find yourself a patient sensual Dom instead of a strict Dom. Someone that will patiently play with you and show you all the different areas like violet wand which is electricity, restraint which is obviously being restrained, LOL, sensory deprivation, which is blindfolds and maybe white noise in the ears, nipple clamps, Etc.. you should talk about all this before you start playing and always have a safe word and make sure that when you exercise your safe word that all play immediately stops no matter what without any negotiation and then you can talk about it when things have been Unwound. Finding someone like this is easier said than done I've got almost 30 years in the lifestyle and 25 years training as a sexual enhancement counselor. I also owned or co-owned I should say a BDSM sex club well underground sex club in the 90s. Just make sure that all the lines of communication are always open then eventually once you get comfortable with someone you can start limiting the conversation because they will know or partially know your limits and then start pushing the boundaries. But again, like just Jen, these are just my suggestions.